Sunday, September 26, 2010


Landon James Warkentin was born September 11, 2010 in Klamath Falls Oregon. He was generously gifted from his birthmother, Kelly, to adoptive parents James and Amber Warkentin and brothers Ryan and Kenden. Landon was prayed for, hoped for, loved on, and throughly enjoyed all of his 10 days with us. Landon lost his battle with Enterovirus on Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at Doernbecher Childrens Hospital in Portland Oregon.

Although Landon's life was much shorter than we ever imagined, we are so grateful for his time and influence on our lives. We were truly honored to be a part of such a large gathering of God's people all over the world. Landon was covered in prayer all the while he fought a heroic fight for his life.

Landon does not leave behind a legacy of fame and fortune or even one of a faithful friend, devoted brother, husband or father. What he does leave behind is a family, and community deeply touched by his presence and the miracle of his life. For his family, Landon helped us remember how to be thankful, how to love selflessly and how to walk humbly through trial. We hold fast to the promise of James 1:3 "for you know the testing of your faith produces endurance."

With sincere gratitude we thank all who petitioned God on behalf of Landon. We thank you for your support and love as we learn to live a life now in light of the lessons we have learned from our sweet baby.

Landon will forever be close to our hearts, because of this, it is our prayer that we are all better parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, friends, and spouses, as well as infinitely more sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit and His call on our lives. Ultimately, may our lives reflect the richness of Gods goodness and the desire to make much of the Sovereign King, since it is He who gave us the opportunity to know and love a child that left our lives as quickly as he entered.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

My Baby

Yesterday my sweet Landon lost his battle with Enterovirus. There are no words for the gratitude I feel for the many, many, many people that prayed for him. I would never change a single second, I am so honored to be Landon's mommy. However, I have no idea how a person is supposed to go on after this.
Thank you Jesus for holding Landon now. He really does love to be held.

Monday, September 20, 2010


Landon still fights. Oh how I wish I could help him. If only it were possible to take on some of the burden, to lighten his load. I keep telling him how brave he is and how proud I am of him. I have never seen anything like this, he just keeps hanging on. James and I have been feeling desperate for answers, today we got some, not exactly the ones we were hoping for.
It seems that what happened yesterday was not a result of meningitis. That explains why he was improving and then the sudden turn for the worse. There were three viruses that were suspected culprits. This morning the test results came in that Landon has Enterovirus. This is a completely new development and changes everything from treatment to the way we are able to interact with him. This virus is harmless in adults and would present as the common cold. In rare cases a newborn contracts it and it causes a massive infection of the organs. Our doctor says that he has seen only five of these cases, all of these were fatal. Initially when I heard this my world spun again, but reality is that Landon is still very much alive and actually showing signs of improvement. Since he is fighting a virus, they are supporting his organs and giving him all the help he needs, but he has to fight the virus on his own. His little heart is working so hard to keep oxygen to his organs.
I am starting to realize how many people across the world are holding Landon up in prayer. It is all of us standing in the gap together that has truly brought mercy and favor to our family. There is no medical reason for Landon's survival yesterday. The septic shock made his initial blood ph test extremely out of balance. A normal ph is around 7.35-7.42. Babies in the NICU are in a desperate situation when their ph is -10. Landon's was -36, unsurvivable even by an adult. Then there is the fact that two times yesterday his heart stopped and he had to have cpr. Organs always have damage when the blood is not pumped effectively to them. Miraculously he is not suffering from massive damage from those two episodes. Also he is in the fight of his life with this virus that is intent on infecting his heart, yet that little heart just keeps going. From where we were this morning to where we are now is amazing. It has been a wonderful day, listening to the doctors shake their head in amazement.
Our major concerns for the next few hours are his kidneys and a new seizure development. The kidneys were damaged during the trauma of yesterday when they just did not receive enough blood during the compressions. It is imperative that they resume their function. Dialysis is possible but he would have to be transported to Portland. Right now it is questionable that he is stable enough to make the trip. His kidneys are working slowly, so it is my prayer that God repairs them here so Landon can just rest. This evening we got word that one of the nurses recognized seizure symptoms. Infant seizures can be hard to detect as they look nothing like they do on tv. I was a bit surprised that they could see anything at all, since he is very sedated. He has medicine for those now and we need to pray that they do not continue. It was not unexpected, in light of the burden on his body from yesterday, it was just disappointing. If they continue it can be a sign of neurological consequences.
Several people have asked if we have considered breast milk for Landon. I think we have located some and are thrilled to offer that when he is healthy enough to eat again. Just another piece of the puzzle.
We are remaining hopeful and steadfast in our petition. Thank you for staying the course with us.
Ephesians 3:14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Blessed With Time

As you read, I had the foreboding feeling that we were not going to have a good day. I had no idea how right I was. Its crazy how being a mom instantly means you have insight where others dont. I did not however know just how bad it was going to get.
As I write this my baby is clinging to life by a thread in the next room. He is grey and lifeless and has a ventilator that is helping him breathe. I am so scared that I will never get to hold him again. He is not the baby I held last evening while he slept, nor is he even the one I woke up with this morning. This baby teeters on the edge between life with me and life with Jesus. He cant move, cant cry, cant open his eyes. I have no idea how it is possible to love someone so much that I have only known for a week. That said, you can imagine the anguish of the day.
It started when James and I came back to his room when they finished with his transfusion this morning. The plan was to go over the morning lab results with the doctor and make a plan for the day. Immediately, when we walked in the room we knew we were in trouble. Landons color had drained, his temp was low, his eyes half open (he hates the bright light and never opens his eyes unless it is dark), shallow pant-like breathing with small wimpers on every breath. My heart broke. The doctor came in and agreed and ordered some tests. Those tests sent things spiraling out of control.
That was 9:30 am. They started trying to figure out the cause of his obvious septic shock, his organs were shutting down starting with his heart. By 11:00 am I knew things were dire. They were desperately trying to regulate his ultra low blood pressure. I sent out an initial prayer request via text and fb on my phone, all the while watching helplessly as teams of doctors and nurses worked on Landon. Im not sure I will ever forget what it sounds like when they call a Code Blue on your child. James and I watched his heart stop..... the monitors flatline. I have never prayed like that before. There are no words for what that feels like and the eternity it lasted. Finally his heart beat, slow at first then steadily.
We stayed glued to the window. Sometimes they would let me go in for a few minutes to talk to him and touch him. Even in that state, walking toward his bed brought a smile to my face, I do love that little guy. Friends and family started arriving. It was great not to me alone, surrounded by hugs and smiles. It helped.
The nightmare began again sometime around 4pm. This time was sudden, his heart rate just plummeted in a few short seconds. I wasnt sure how a person is supposed to survive watching it, especially twice. Agony. Again the alarm went off, "Code Blue Neonatal 4" (4 is our room). Again the doctor did compressions while we prayed and cried out to God for mercy for our son, and again, slowly his heart started to beat on its own. At this point the doctors are skeptical that the meningitis is bacterial. It is looking more like viral. So that means poor little Landon has to fight it on his own, since there is no meds available for viruses. They are doing all they can to sustain his fragile little body but at this point only time will tell. We are taking this minute by minute, praying desperately for a miracle for Landon.
There are many unanswered questions about what is going on in that little body of his, it seems that most of them will remain a mystery since we have been here 4 days and have few more answers than when we started. I rest in Christ. It is for Him that we live, move and are. Psalm 119:49-51 Remember your word to your servant for you have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.
We love you Landon James, keep fighting little buddy.

For Today:

We have been making good progress with this nasty bug but it seems that he is going to possibly have a harder day. He has been eating formula again and they were increasing it slowly. He has been very excited to finally eat and ate what was offered quickly. Now he is refusing. He is also getting fussy. There was a dip in his temperature this morning, another sign that something is up again. The risk with adding food is an infection in his intestine. Please pray that is not where this goes.
Right now he is receiving his transfusion so that is a blessing! We made it through the night with no complications or bleeding from the super low platelets.
He has gained a bit of weight back from the hydration and the iv so that is also a good thing, he needs more but everyone seems happy with where he is. The bigger he gets the easier it is for him to fight this off.
We are looking at a long treatment of antibiotics. Not sure yet how long, they are just trying to keep us prepared for whatever he needs. Pray we all hold up.
We are encouraged that he has made it this far with no seizure activity and those were critical days. God has been merciful to us and especially close to Landon as I know that so many of you have been praying for him. Thank you.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Wow, What A Week!

Have you ever stopped and thought about how fast your life changes direction? Or maybe I should say, have you ever contemplated how Gods plan for your life seems to sometimes be paused and other times stuck in fast forward? After another sleepless night, I have had alot of time to dwell on the last week. Actually the summer in its entirety. Most of you know that we adopted another baby boy, born 9-11 and released from the hospital on 9-14. A few of you know the journey we have been on and how this all came about, a story that will forever be close to my heart. James and I looked the world over literally, looking specifically for Landon, only to find him in our own backyard. The story still moves me to tears, only God could author a chapter like this in our novel. A week ago I was eagerly setting up our crib and hanging nursery pictures with a good friend. We spent the day fluffing the nest for baby Landon. Bottles were washed and packed, newbie clothes clean, folded and packed, as well as little plugs (binkies) and diapers. Papers, phone numbers, cell phone chargers, laptop, Bible, camera and two overly stuffed bags of necessities that would tide us over in the hospital (I pretend to be low maintenance but you all know Im not!). I fell into bed that night thinking every piece of the puzzle was in place. Bring on the baby! Oh if I only knew....
The next morning we get the call. I will never forget meeting him for the first time. Through tears I said "So here you are. I have been looking for you." The hospital stay was prolonged a couple days due to what we thought was a minor complication. We left there on Tuesday morning and headed home to a house full of friends and family who were anxiously waiting to meet our Landon for the first time.
Gods timing and provision as gone before us like a banner through the whole experience. So many times I have marveled at the way He has taken care of our family and brought us another baby while strengthening every aspect of our faith at the same time. We praise Him that he provided for us yet again, with a checkup with our beloved family doctor on a day that I would have much rather stayed home and caught up on rest and laundry! By the time I got to his office I knew something was amiss with Landon. 20 minutes later I was standing in the emergency room recounting everything I could remember about the details of his birth through a teary fog. An hour after that I got the news that Landon had in fact the worst possible scenario, meningitis. Off we went to our new home away from home, the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.
The past few days have been full of highs and lows for Landon as well as the rest of us. I never cease to be amazed at the quality of our friendships and the unbelievable prayer support that surrounds us. We are blessed beyond measure. We remain optimistic with the doctors for his complete recovery from an infection much to big for such a small body. The joy of the Lord is my strength, and for today, Landon is in my arms.